Now firstly, I’m grateful that we have people here at IHOP who are being so responsible for the upkeep of the place. Our cleaning, maintenance and grounds people are seriously excellent, and I hope I get to go visit them in their massive mansions in the New Jerusalem.
That said, there is a sign that’s been up in the ladies’ room for a week or so now that makes me smile anytime I see it. It’s one of those “Only flush things that are supposed to go in the toilet” kind of signs — and to be fair, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen one that has not left room for giggle potential. But I had to share my amusement with this one in particular, because I see it almost every day.
DO NOT FLUSH PAPER
TOWEL IN THE TOILET OR
ONLY TOILET PAPER
To begin with, I like that it’s only one paper towel. Singular noun. Or maybe it’s that kind of indefinite noun where you don’t use a real plural form, like “dirt” or “water” or “moose.” (i.e. “I’m going to the store to get some paper towel.”)
The kicker, of course, is that you cannot flush the aforementioned singular paper towel “in the toilet or anything else.” I get really amused wondering what on earth you would alternatively try to flush a paper towel in, if not the toilet. There are several other things that the word “flush” could mean, but I cannot for the life of me think of anything else that is able to flush. I can almost picture someone trying to cram a fistful of paper towels down the sink, water spilling over the edge as they exclaim in frustration, “It’s not working!”
So remember, kids… do not ever flush a paper towel, even (and perhaps especially) if the thing you’re flushing it in is not a toilet.